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whatisthatmelody | Back to life alternate timeline au aka a mouthful!
His last moments alive are gasped, choking. Struggling for air. Harold almost thought he'd make it, he'd had enough oxygen in his air tank for about thirty minutes, but as he fought to find a way back into Horizon colony, he'd quickly realized that the subjects had done a full lockdown.
It didn't stop him from trying even still, trying till his last breath gave out.
It's like a jolt shoots through him, waking Harold with a start. He sits up, blinking wildly, then flips back into bed. Bed? What? His mind wonders "a dream?", but no no he knows that wasn't a dream. He'd felt it, he'd lived that.
His eyes dart around, familiar things all around, but this isn't right. No, no this is wrong. He grabs the phone on the desk because his bed, flicks it on to see the date and can't believe what he's reading. Flicks the camera on to look at himself at his face.
It's him. Hair more full and his hairline not as drawn back, no gray. No crowd feet at the corner of his eyes and his forehead much smoother. What the hell... it's then that he hears the familiar sound of an orchestral tune coming from the bathroom.
How many times had he woken up to that or joined Siebren in the shower in the morning to start their day? His mind is a wash of confusion and sadness as he looks at the texts messages on the phone. His mother is glad he's enjoying the beginning of his first semester. College? Jesus is that... yeah that made sense with what he's, seeing but this isn't the room he'd stayed in during that time.
What the hell is going on?
It didn't stop him from trying even still, trying till his last breath gave out.
It's like a jolt shoots through him, waking Harold with a start. He sits up, blinking wildly, then flips back into bed. Bed? What? His mind wonders "a dream?", but no no he knows that wasn't a dream. He'd felt it, he'd lived that.
His eyes dart around, familiar things all around, but this isn't right. No, no this is wrong. He grabs the phone on the desk because his bed, flicks it on to see the date and can't believe what he's reading. Flicks the camera on to look at himself at his face.
It's him. Hair more full and his hairline not as drawn back, no gray. No crowd feet at the corner of his eyes and his forehead much smoother. What the hell... it's then that he hears the familiar sound of an orchestral tune coming from the bathroom.
How many times had he woken up to that or joined Siebren in the shower in the morning to start their day? His mind is a wash of confusion and sadness as he looks at the texts messages on the phone. His mother is glad he's enjoying the beginning of his first semester. College? Jesus is that... yeah that made sense with what he's, seeing but this isn't the room he'd stayed in during that time.
What the hell is going on?
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Whatever this was felt so fragile.
Both hands now hold his face, cradle it, thumbs brushing against sharp cheekbones. It takes every ounce of his resolve to not utter that he loves him.
"I don't want to leave." Is what he settles on instead, not saying he won't, because he doesn't know. Maybe in the morning Harold will be here, confused and wondering about strange memories of his fondness for Siebren de Kuiper and kissing him all night long even though he barely knows him. Or maybe it'll still be Harold now with all his memories and his aching heart.
In the dark he can see Siebren's face, his kiss swollen lips, big eyes still a bit moist from crying before... he just wants to hold him so tightly. So he'll urge him to lay with him, on the bed definitely not made for two. Barely made for Siebren let's be real. He'll have Siebren rest his head against his chest, one arm resting around his shoulders, his other hand carding through still damp hair.
It's mused and a bit funny looking, but who cares right now. Harold presses his lips into the mess of hair and sighs, tired, worn out emotionally.
"... Siebren, I like you, just the way you are." Don't ever change. Please.
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He let his head rest on Harold’s chest, content to have his hair stroked while he listened to Harold’s heartbeat. He eased one arm over Harold’s chest, pulling him close. He smiles wide at that kiss to the top of his head. More tenderness.
And then....then Harold says what he has been waiting his whole life to hear. Admittedly, this Siebren had not had to wait as long as his counterpart...but something in Siebren’s mind insists it had waited decades to hear it.
Siebren’s throat tightened and his eyes filled with fresh, hot tears, but...these were happy and they did not fall. His heart that had been dashed to pieces hours earlier now felt so full, Siebren thought it might burst.
“Thank you....Harold.”
His hug tightened and he looked up with those large eye of his, easing up to plant one more of those soft, long kisses onto Harold’s lips. He gave a happy sigh and lay his own head back on Harold’s chest. He wanted to lay there forever.
“Thank you.”
It is all he can manage. Despite how much he loves this, his eyes are getting impossibly heavy. He softly pressed a kiss into Harold’s chest as his large eyes began to flutter.
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Now as they pay here together in the dark, fresh tears wetting the t-shirt yes wearing for bed, Harold likes to think they were always meant to gravitate around one another. At the thankful words he gives Siebren a little squueze, sighing into his hair with a smile.
Maybe if this was his last moments with Siebren again it wasn't so bad. Even then as he feels Siebren quiet and still against him, Harold fights to stay awake as long as he can.
His lids are heavy two and after a few slow blinks... suddenly it's morning. Their blinds are closed on the window, but the bit of sunlight still peeks through. The time on the clock proves it's morning, as if he needed more proof, and Harold feels a surge of relief rush over him.
"Oh thank God." Breathed out and he feels his whole body relax. He's still here. Siebren... Siebren is too. Holding him in a sleepy embrace like he's a plush teddy bear. Smiling warmly he'll run his fingers over his forehead into his hair, it's stuck up all funny from drying the night before.
It's cute.
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He slept deeply and for most of the night, his mind was an infinite abyss of inky black...until a star appeared...and then another...and another...one by one they blinked into existence in his mind’s eye....then, there among them was the Earth...and Siebren realized he was dreaming again. It was the dream he had had off an on for weeks that never ceased to rattle him. He was gazing at the Earth among the stars...except this time he realized he was actually looking through a telescope. He could see himself looking through a telescope. He was much older, Grey hair receded back with a sharp widow’s peak....but his eyes were still glittering with enthusiasm as much as they were now. Siebren had never gotten this far in the dream to actually see his older self.
“So there you are, Dr. de Kuiper.”
He heard a familiar voice...he knew that voice...it was...
Harold Winston.
Siebren’s eyes blinked open in the present, his temple throbbed again. He turned his eyes up at the feeling of someone running their fingers through his hair. Bit by bit, the events of the last night came into his memory and he turned his eyes up at the literal man of his dreams.
“Good Morning, Harold.”
His voice was groggy with sleep but genuinely happy.
“Thank you...for staying with me...and your...kind words last night.”
He paused and cleared his throat.
“I...I think I fancy you quite a bit, Harold Winston.”
He smiled widely and shrugged a bit.
“And I don’t think there is anything you can do about it, I am afraid.”
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"Of course." Even if things hadn't ended up as they were now, he'd still not regret staying with him. Anything he'd said. He'd meant it all.
An eyebrow quirks up and as Siebren playfully all but threatens him. Nothing he can do about it huh? Oh noooo... whatever will he do?
"If you're insinuating that would be a problem you're mistaken, Dr. de Kuiper." Whoops old habits again.
"Thing is, I think I fancy you too." He didn't think, he knew, but he's playing against Siebren's words.
"So. It seems like we have a situation on our hands. We both like each other."
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There it was again. Again it felt right...familiar. It was what the Harold in his dream had called him.
He nodded slowly, tracing circles lazily on Harold’s t-shirt.
“Indeed. It would seem we do.”
He looked up, large eyebrows arched in mock seriousness.
“Not to worry, Dr. Winston. I have the situation under control.”
At that, his left temple throbbed and he could swear he heard an alarm somewhere...but as soon as it had come, it passed.
He gave his head a shake before leaning up to Harold and nuzzling the man’s much smaller nose with his own before kissing the end of it, careful to hold his breath while he did. Siebren was all too aware that he had not in fact brushed his teeth yet.
“I suppose we’ll just have to fancy each other. Not a bad situation to be in at all from where I am standing, as it were.”
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But all to quickly Harold realizes that's not the case. Still he smiles all the same at such familiar conversation, wondering if Siebren just goes along with the whole "doctor" this and that because they are indeed studying to get in said fields. It's not so out of left field is it?
"Ah, but you're not standing. I do agree that the situation is pretty favorable." Harold could stay like this forever, just laying here with him. Muttering and teasing each other in the dim light of the morning.
"... hey," His tone turns a little serious now though, "I don't usually... I'm not really a rebound guy, but I feel like I've known you for years." He has known him for years. Maybe not this younger version of Siebren, but he has. Whether this ends up being serious or even just... friends with benefits, he just wants Siebren to understand he doesn't fall into this sort of thing willy nilly.
"Guess I feel like we're good for each other."
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Whatever it turned out to be, this seemingly effortless comfort that he and Harold had together was all he could ever want. Silly banter, comfort...Siebren did not feel anxious or worried about anything between them.
When Harold’s voice turned serious, Siebren listened intently. He nodded and reached out a large hand to weave his fingers together with Harold’s.
“I understand. I’m not...one to rebound either...but I feel the same way. I can’t explain it but when we are together it...it just feels right.”
He sighed.
“It has never felt like that before. For me, anyway.”
Sharp grey eyes locked with Harold’s
“I...believe we are good for each other.”
The hand holding Harold’s gave a squeeze.
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"And I agree." But he has future proof that it's true, so maybe he has a one up on all of this. He takes his hand away then, stretching a little with a small yawn, rubbing at the back of his neck. God he can't remembering sleeping so well and soundly in a long time. Most nights he crashes from coffee no longer working or from just... working till he can't stay awake any longer. He'd gotten used to sleeping alone a little bit ago, but the familiar warmth or Siebren with him was the best melatonin.
"... this will sound hypocritical considering we made out and fell asleep in the same bed, but maybe we should just, take things slowly." As easy as it would be for Harold to fall into step like before, this is new for Siebren. He smiles though, "I just mean, we have plenty of time to really get to know one another, I think I'd like to savor that." And he leans in, for a little peck.
"Don't you?"
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“Why...yes. Yes, I would like that very much.”
This felt special...of course he would like to take his time and savor getting to know this kind, understanding young man who kissed him so sweetly and shared his bed when he had asked. Oh, he would have time to properly court Harold. He very much liked that idea. He would make sure that Harold Winston knew who he was. Actions spoke louder than words,
He leaned into that little peck, he gave Harold just one more nuzzle in the meantime for good measure.
Siebren gave a soft chuckle.
“Yes...we...did seem to jump into things quickly...but it was completely innocent. I felt nothing but treated with honor and respect....and...”
His eyes went downcast and he scratched the back of his neck.
“And I truly have never been kissed like tht before and...I truly appreciated it. It...made me feel...special.”
There was a hint of pink on his cheeks at that and he was a little embarrassed. He was in college. A few soft kisses from his crush should not make him blush...but it did. It was because it did make him feel special...adored, even.
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As much as Siebren had a way of waffling awkwardly when he was nervous or embarrassed, Harold is finding his younger self is perhaps 1000% worse, but not in a bad way. It's so dreadfully adorable. He hopes the smirk on his face as he listens to him doesn't come off mean, he couldn't have a mean thought in his mind about Siebren. Ever.
"Honorable and respectful, hm?" We only do kisses that honor and respect our partners here in this dorm room. "I can't fathom anyone not wanting to kiss you that way, but that's their loss." Harold smiles softly, "My gain."
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“Yes....but...I think it is...my gain as well.”
He scratched the back of his neck again before blinking and looking up at Harold as long fingers searched for Harold’s to loosely link them up.
“Harold...I..look forward to getting to know you.”
And he meant it. He wanted to know everything-Harold’s hopes and dreams, favorite colors, favorite foods-his fears...everything...and from the way Harold was acting, from kissing him late into the night and sharing his bed after only really knowing him for a week or two, well, it just felt as though Harold felt the same way.
How fortunate.
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Harold just knows he can't take any of this for granted, not that he ever took his time with Siebren that way before, he'd just hoped... had wanted more time with him. Had thought they could have been happy together one day on Earth, not up on the moon. Closing his workbook filled with notes that he honestly doesn't have to take, but he can't just sit in class doing nothing, Harold sighs heavily, sitting up to stretch.
"... if I never have to read these notes again I'd be the happiest man alive." Just a little grousing, as a treat. He looks over at Siebren who's always a diligent student, he expected no less. Though they'd been at it for hours now and it was definitely time for a break.
"Hey, Seb, you hungry?" He smiles, "I'm hungry."
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Still...actions he could do!
He had taken to tucking tiny notes into Harold’s books on those days that he had to leave before Harold could awaken. They were always simple. Well wishes...little things like that.
Siebren found himself quite enjoying this little romance of theirs.
Even this...hours of being buried in textbooks together...it felt right.
Siebren was so engrossed in his work that it took him several moments to realize that Harold had spoken to him.
“Ah! Harold! I’m sorry. Yes. Yes, I could definitely do with some fresh air and refreshment.”
He stretched, flexing his toes as he did.
“What did you have in mind?”